Butters' Hello Kitty Island Adventure OF DOOM!
by StudentofDust
Summary: Crackfic, mostly due to sleep deprivation and severe hunger. Butters has to be the hero, whether he wants to or not. Loosely based on a concept taken from the SP episode Make Love, Not Warcraft. Crossover between South Park and Hello Kitty.
1. Sucked In

**I'm not going to tell you all that much about the plot, so just read and find out.**

**I will say, though, that I do not own **_**South Park**_** or any of its characters, nor do I claim to.**

Moonlight shone into the curtainless window, cracked slightly to allow in the night's cool, gentle breeze. The light illuminated the cloor below the windowsill, and fanned outward to light about half the room.

The clock on the desk showed 12:45 a.m. and the darkness that hung outside the house confirmed the presence of this unholy hour.

Both the mother and the father of the household were sleep, snoring away peacefully in their bed. No doubt, they were dreaming up new situations in which they could ground their son. They weren't sadistic parents, though, merely overprotective.

Too overprotective, in their son's eyes. Over the course of his still-young life, he'd been grounded for more things than he could- or cared to- remember. Everything from losing his set of keys to the house, to not coming home in time to help out with the household chores. And he couldn't even help the latter, seeing as he'd been in an alternate dimension, working (and fighting) his ass off to save the world from a hoarde of evil critters bent on destroying all that was good.

Granted, his parents hadn't known about that little fact, but that was beside the point.

The young man longed for the days where he would be able to do as he pleased, without having to fear almost constant retribution from his parents for every minor infraction. He was only in the fourth grade, though, and those days that he so fondly looked forward to, were a long ways away- so for now, at least, he was forced to do things a little bit differently.

Normally, he hated breaking the rules, and in such a sneaky manner as he was doing. These were desperate times, though, and besides, there was a really good reason for his actions.

He, Leopold Stotch, better known to most everyone as Butters, had recently procured a copy of _Hello Kitty: Island Adventure II_.

Butters had gotten the game from his parents two or three weeks previous, as an "early birthday present." This had more than slightly confused Butters, seeing that his birthday was still a full three months away.

It didn't ultimately matter to him, though; he was the one who'd chosen the original _Hello Kitty: Island Adventure_ over _World of Warcraft_, despite all the ribbing he'd gotten from Cartman and the rest of the gang over it.

He had fun with it, and his parents approved of it. What else could he possibly ask for?

Plenty, but that was besides the point.

Smiling contentedly to himself, Butters loaded up the game, tapping his fingers impatiently as the load screen popped up and the game readied itself for play.

Not long afterward, the main screen came up, presenting Butters with the gameplay menu.

"Hmmm... Single-player or MMO..."

Butters' smile grew more pronounced as he clicked the MMO option. This game was, to him, everything that _World of Warcraft_ was not- clean, safe, and free of griefers trying to kill your character at any and all costs.

It also had a lot of the good things that could be found in games like _WoW_: the ability to interact with fellow players from around the world (though the number of players who actually felt they weren't too "mature" to play _Hello Kitty Island Adventure II_ was rapidly diminishing), the great feeling that comes from leveling your character up or completing a particularly challenging quest.

_Hello Kitty: Island Adventure II_ was, beyond an iota of a shadow of a doubt, Butters' favorite game. Ever.

Just as the world was about to finish loading, the load bar flickered, then paused. After a moment, it continued loading, but soon repeated the process.

Butters' smile flickered as well, and after a minute of no progress on the load bar, his half-grin dissolved into a full-on, all-out frown.

He muttered something under his breath, inaudible to anyone that wasn't standing an inch or two away from him. It didn't matter, though- he was the only one in the computer den, and Butters knew he had at least a few more hours until his parents came to check up on him, just like they did every night.

A minute later, the question of why the game wasn't loading, was answered in the form of a blue-grey bordered pop-up.

"Your computer may be infected with viruses," the pop-up stated. "Renew your antivirus protection to allow for the best virus detection and renewal."

Butters snorted.

"Well... we could keep it... if it weren't so damn expensive...

He clicked on the "No, thanks" button on the pop-up, and it went away; a few moments later, the game finished loading. The load screen was replaced by an island paradise scene, complete with leafy palm trees and large coconuts laying in the sand, close to the trees from which they fell.

For a game designed for younger kids, it had pretty good-quality graphics.

Taking the portable ear-piece off the table, Butters stuck it into his ear. He spoke a few words into the mic device, and the tinny echo in his ears confirmed that the device was still working. Using the directional pad, he began to maneuver his character around the world.

Butters' custom-made character was truly a sight to behold. It appeared to be a cat at first glance, but what cat had a prehensile tail at its disposal? The ears were slightly larger than a normal cat's ears, as well, and the front and hind paws ended in only two clawed toes, instead of the usual three (or four) that felines usually possessed.

The most odd characteristic of Butters' character , though, was (by leaps and bounds) its head. The head was about as long as the character was tall, with a few strands of hair poking down over her face.

And yes, Butters was playing a gender-bender.

His character was certainly not one that could be mistaken for anyone else's.

Butters continued to walk his character along the shoreline, (in real life) imagining what it would be like to walk hand-in-hand along the shore, his Kitty- his love- by his side...

Butters flushed a deep crimson, as his fantasy continued to play out in his mind. No one besides himself- not even his best online friends- knew of the depth of the crush he had on Kitty. The way her eyes sparkled when you did something in-game that she particularly enjoyed, the sheen on her fur as the artificial sunlight glistened off it... To Butters, Kitty was the most beautiful thing that he had ever laid his virgin eyes on.

(Yes, even more beautiful than the waitress at Raisins that he had loved for so long.)

Suddenly, a voice came through his earbuds: "Hello there, Butters1911."

Butters recognized the voice, seeing as he'd heard it multiple times during the course of both the first and second games.

"Hey, Kitty," he spoke into the mic.

"Are you ready?" Kitty asked.

Butters needed no prompting; he already knew what Kitty was referring to.

"I'm ready," Butters said, a steely tone of determination coming over his voice.

Kitty smiled, and Butters could feel his heart flutter slightly.

"Then let's go," Kitty replied cheerily, starting to walk off in the opposite direction.

Butters double-clicked on Kitty, indicating to his character that he should follow Kitty wherever she went.

Just then, another voice came through the headset. "Butters?" it said.

_That's odd..._ Butters thought. _That sounded just like my mother..._

A moment later, the voice came back: "Butters, are you even listening to me?"

In a flash, Butters realized what was actually happening. Turning around slowly, he came face to face with his mother, standing in the doorway, glaring at him.

"What is the meaning of this?" Butters' mother asked, her hands planted firmly on her hips. "Why on earth are you still up at two in the morning?"

Butters swallowed hard; he was so screwed.

"I just... I was just-"

"Just nothing!" his mother interjected. "You know your bedtime is at nine o'clock, no exceptions!"

"But, Mom-"

One venomous glare from his mother silenced him in mid-sentence. Without saying a word, she pointed in the direction of his room.

Butters understood, and hopped down off the chair, heading back to his room. As he got to about halfway there, his mom yelled from behind him, "And you're grounded off the computer for a month!"

He turned around in shock; never had his mother grounded him for that long, not even when he came back late from the alternate dimension.

That had only been for three weeks.

"A whole month?" Butters whined. "That's practically forever!"

"It's not forever," his mother scolded, "and you know it! Now just go to bed, before I make it two months!"

Butters trudged into his room, shutting the door behind him. He shut it a little more forcefully than what was probably required, but his mom didn't notice it.

Shaking her head in disbelief, she went over to the computer and started the shut-down procedure.

"I don't know what came over him..." his mom said as the computer shut down. "He normally doesn't do anything like this..."

She stayed in the room just long enough to make sure the computer was off, then she trudged back to her room, certain that she wouldn't get back to sleep for at least an hour, now.

What she didn't realize, though, was that she'd failed to remove the game disc from the CD-ROM drive, not even thinking about it as being important.

Butters would soon find out otherwise...

**TWO WEEKS LATER**

The South Park Elementary lunch room was rapidly filling up with kids, practically all ravenous after a long morning of learning.

As usual, the gang all sat together at one table. And almost immediately, they noticed that something just wasn't right with Butters.

"What's wrong with you?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah, man, you ain't looking too hot," added Stan.

Butters let out a melodramatic sigh. "I haven't been able to play _Hello Kitty: Island Adventure II_ in two weeks..."

Cartman snorted with laughter. "Oh, you baby."

Kyle glared at him. "Shut up, fat-ass!"

Cartman was about to send back another insult when Kenny spoke up: "Hey, Butters, I have an idea."

Butters turned his full attention to Kenny. "Okay, what is it?"

The way Kenny was smiling, clued Butters in that he was thinking about something mischievous.

"It's simple," Kenny said. "Just sneak on when your parents are asleep."

"Won't work," Butters replied. "That's how I got grounded in the first place."

Kenny frowned; that definitely threw a monkey-wrench into his plans. Knowing Butters' parents, they probably had that room guarded pretty well, now that Butters was officially grounded.

"Well..." Kenny said pensively, "are your parents going out of town any time soon? Or anything that would make them be out of the house long enough for you to get on?"

A light went on in Butters' head.

"Yeah!" he exclaimed. "My mom and dad are going out tonight on their wedding anniversary! I totally forgot about that!"

Kenny grinned. "There ya go."

And for the rest of the day, Butters was walking on clouds- he had finally found a way to come back to his love.

Nothing could stop him now.

_Or so he thought..._

**LATER THAT NIGHT**

Butters had been home for a few hours before he'd finally gotten up the nerve to go into his compute room, for fear that his parents were home the whole time, just waiting for him to mess up so they could extend his restriction even further.

When his fears were allayed, though, he turned the computer on and, when it was finished loading up, started the game.

He was a bit surprised that his mom hadn't confiscated the game, but he only dwelled on that for a short moment before he logged into the game and, again, selected the MMO game mode.

Almost immediately, he was met by Kitty. It was almost as though... she were waiting for him.

"Hello, Butters," Kitty said.

"Hello, Ki-"

"I've been waiting for you."

Butters froze; Kitty had never said that to him before.

"Y-you have?" he stammered.

"Yes," Kitty replied, nodding her head. "Our world is in trouble and only you can save it."

"Me?" Butters asked. "But... why?"

In response, the computer screen blackened, to almost a pitch-black vortex. A moment later, a pinpoint of white light appeared in the center of the screen, slowly expanding until it filled the entire screen.

Butters was about to scream, when a lone figure appeared far into the white void. It had the overall body shape of Kitty herself, but from such a distance, Butters couldn't tell for sure.

He leaned in closer to get a better look, and felt a slight suction on his head and face. Before he could even try to react, the force magnified exponentially, and Butters was sucked through the computer screen and into the white nothingness.

After a moment, Butters had completely disappeared, and the computer screen again blackened, then re-loaded the game at the spawn point.

No sign of Butters remained in the room. To anyone passing through... they would think he was never in the room, to begin with.

If they remembered him at all.

**Well, I hope you enjoyed it. Chapter two will be coming up soon!**


	2. Chased Down

**I'm really liking how this story is turning out, and I really hope that you all are, too! So keep on reading- this is where it starts to get good!**

The house was all quiet, when Butters' parents arrived at home. Rain fell steadily outside their home, and it had just started not less than an hour previous.

Not even thinking about Butters at first, the pair shook the raindrops off their raincoats, scattering the front of the foyer with wetness. The two shed their coats, letting them drop where they stood. The coats hit the floor with a wet _smack_, but the Stotches made no effort to pick them up.

Mr. Stotch whispered something into his wife's ear, and she flushed to her roots, giggling girlishly. He leaned in to whisper something else, but she silenced him with one finger to his lips.

She motioned for him to follow her, and just about immediately, he knew what she wanted.

Walking over to her, he took her hand, firmly and surely. She smiled seductively at her husband, and he responded in kind. Slowly, they walked down the hallway to their room, no hurry in their steps.

They had no plans to sleep that night, and that was fine with the both of them; they'd planned ahead and both taken the following day off of work. The entire night was theirs and theirs alone.

As they passed Butters' room, Mrs. Stotch stopped.

"What is it, dear?" he asked.

She smiled. "Go on up to our room, love," she said sweetly "I'll be up in a second; I just want to say goodnight to Butters."

Mr. Stotch couldn't help but grin; here they were, about to share a_ very_ intimate moment with each other, on their thirteenth wedding anniversary, and his wife was still kind enough to think of their son.

It was just one of the many reasons he loved her so much.

Still smiling, he continued on down the hall, as Mrs. Stotch quietly cracked open Butters' bedroom door.

"Good night, Butters," she said, blowing a kiss through the opening in the doorframe. "Sleep tight, I love you."

No response came from the room, but she merely attributed that to the fact that Butters was already asleep. She only stood there for a moment longer, before she closed his door and walked away.

On a whim, she peered into the computer room, as well. Much to her surprise, the computer was off, the standby light not even flashing.

Mrs. Stotch smiled; her little Butters hadn't let her down. Closing the door, he headed to her room where her hubby was waiting for her, and raucous love-making was about to ensue.

As the two began to do the deed, neither even had an inkling of the danger that their son was about to be in.

Not even Butters himself knew…

---

"Oh, God…"

Butters' nausea was ever-increasing, as he continued to spin out of control. The white tunnel in which he found himself falling into, seemed to be endlessly stretched out.

He looked out ahead of him, trying to see whether the end of the tunnel was ahead of him. At the very least, he wanted to see something besides whiteness.

No such luck.

Butters groaned softly, the tuna burrito that he had eaten lunch beginning to come back to haunt him. He clenched his mouth shut tightly, trying to keep from losing the contents of his stomach.

At that point, it was really all he could think about.

"When will it end…?"

Not too far afterwards, as it turned out.

It was about a few minutes later (or something close to that), when Butters felt a suction on his body, the same one he'd felt when he was first sucked into the portal. Abruptly, he was flung forward, further into the vortex, hurtling at speeds far greater than any he'd ever experienced before.

After a period of time, Butters caught glimpses of some kind of end to the tunnel. He only caught bits and pieces of it, though, due to the fact that he was tumbling ass-end over teakettle, as he continued to travel along.

One final rush of speed, and Butters was spat out onto _terra firma_, the portal that he had just come out of closing behind him, leaving no trace that it had ever been there.

Butters lay on his side for a good five minutes, gasping for breath. Even though he'd done nothing but free-fall for the past God-knows-how-long, the trans-dimensional trip had sucked almost all the energy out of him.

He had no idea how long it would take him to recover, but somehow, he knew that the process would not be enjoyable.

A wave of nausea hit him suddenly, and Butters tightly shut his eyes, trying to hold his lunch down. The pressure kept building, though, and eventually it became more than Butters could bear.

With a great shudder, Butters vomited. Violently.

It took about a minute for him to expel all that he could from his body, but eventually it was over. Butters continued to lay on his side, panting from the exertion that his own body had just put him through.

This was pure agony.

---

Butters had no idea how long he'd lay there, before he decided that he felt well enough to try and sit up. He slowly did so, testing the limits of his young body, trying to see if he were able to withstand even that small stress of life.

He wasn't.

As he neared his upright position, another spasm racked his body, and he again began to vomit. There wasn't much left in the tank, though, and after a moment or two, he was reduced to dry-heaving.

It still didn't stop it from hurting like a bitch, though.

Tears unwillingly rose to Butters' eyes, as he looked down at his light blue shirt. At least none of the bile happened to land on him, personally.

It wasn't much of a consolation, but it was one nonetheless.

Thoughts began to flood Butters' mind: _Where the hell is this place? What am I even doing here? Why do I-_

His thoughts were interrupted, though, by a voice coming from in front of him, though it still sounded a bit far off: "Butters? Is that you?"

The voice sounded so familiar to him, but in his screwed-up state, he couldn't quite place where he'd heard it from before. He slowly looked up, fearing another nausea attack. It didn't come, though, and Butters finished readjusting his line of sight.

What he saw, absolutely floored him.

Directly in front of him, Kitty was walking towards him, her usual smile on her face. Upon closer inspection, though, Butters could see that her smile faltered every few steps, as though the closer she came to him, the less sure of herself she became.

She spoke again: "Is that you, Butters?"

Butters finally found his voice: "Y-yeah, it's me…" The words came out soft and raspy, and Butters immediately disliked the way they had come out.

What if she thought that was the way he talked all the time? What would happen between them, then?

It was hell on him.

As Butters watched Kitty walk closer to him, he noticed that, despite her periodically-faltering smile, she had a twinkle in her eye as she fixed her gaze intently on him.

She always had a gleam in her eye, in the game, but this one… It was different.

Butters couldn't quite put her finger on the exact reason, but he could sense it.

Kitty reached him and stood in front of him, looking down at him. For a moment, Butters couldn't meet her gaze, but eventually he worked up the courage to look up at her.

A look of concern was visible on her face.

"Are you alright?" Kitty asked. "You don't look so good…"

Butters wagged his head. "I'm fine…" he murmured. "Just a bit… messed up. From the ride over, you know."

To his surprise, Kitty looked to be sad about that.

"If there were any other way," Kitty responded a bit glumly, "we would have done it. But this was the only way we knew of, to get you here."

Kitty extended a paw, and Butters accepted it graciously. With one lithe movement, Kitty helped him up to his feet.

"If I may…" Butters started, then stopped shyly.

Kitty nodded, motioning for him to continue.

Butters looked into Kitty's eyes, nearly melting in the process. "What am I even doing here?"

"Didn't I tell you?" Kitty asked. "We need you to-"

"Save the world," Butters interrupted. "I know. But… why me? I'm just a little kid-"

"That may be true," Kitty replied, "but there's something special about you. I know it, I can feel it!"

Butters averted his gaze, looking now instead at the ground below him. The thoughts he was thinking now, flew right in the face of everything that his beloved Kitty had just told him.

And, truthfully, he was ashamed of it.

Finally, he found he could speak again: "I'm not special. Never have been, never-"

It was only then, that Butters noticed that at least one big thing was wrong with the world in which he found himself. He recognized the area of the forest in which he was at, but the lush green grass that had always been there before, was certainly not there now.

Rather, in its place, dead ground stood, charred black by some fury-hot force. Not a single blade of green grass now stood in the blackened sea that lay before, behind- all around them.

Butters gaped in awe at the scene of mass devastation that presented itself clearly to him. This was most certainly not the game world that Butters knew and loved so much.

What had happened to it? Was this even the same world?

"What…" Butters stammered, "what happened here? Why is this place like this?"

Kitty's saddened look deepened even further, and Butters was surprised to see tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.

"It's a very long story," Kitty said, barely above a whisper.

"I want to know," Butters replied. "If I need to be your savior, I need to know what happened, what we're going up against."

_Besides,_ he added in his head, _I'm not ready for us to split up yet…_

Kitty smiled beautifully at him. "Well, if you really want to know…"

She took a deep breath, then began: "Did you know that the main island of the game isn't the only actual in-game area?"

This surprised him. "N-no, I didn't…" he stammered.

"Well, it isn't. There are other areas of the game, that aren't accessible to the PCs. **(Author's Note: PCs = Player/Playable-Characters) **Only the more powerful of the NPCs can go there. **(AN: NPCs = Non- Playable/Non-Player Characters)**

"One of the things that was going on in these NPC-only areas, was a convention of scientists, one of whom is our very own Badtz Maru, though he is but a young one when compared to some of these other scientists that we have.

"These scientists were attempting to do something that had never even been tried before, much less accomplished."

"What was that?" Butters asked in spite of himself.

"They made an elixir of life. If they had ingested it right then and there, they would have made themselves effectively immortal. That way, they could go into PC areas and not be killed by them if attacked, as many other NPCs are able to do. With this serum, their lifespan would have been indefinite."

"Then…" Butters asked, "what happened to it?"

"Well," Kitty continued, "in the end, they decided to hold off on taking it, in order to run some more tests on it. They wanted to be completely sure that the serum actually did what they wanted it to do.

"So, they began to test it on some of the local wildlife. Squirrels, birds- even some of the fish got tested on. And it all worked fine for them; the animals that got tested on and tagged for future observations lived far longer than their untested-on counterparts. In fact, so far as I know, most- if not all- of them are still alive today, even with the PCs attacking them constantly.

"So they decided to finally administer the serum to those amongst their own ranks."

Kitty looked over at Butters to make sure he hadn't gotten lost in all the information she was suddenly dumping on him. He hadn't; in fact, he seemed to be eagerly absorbing everything she had to say, and the look on his face proved it.

She found herself staring at him now, as she hadn't been able to before then. Seeing him like this, for the first time, she started to think of him more as a person than anything else.

_Wow… _she thought, _he's really wanting to know all about this. I wonder if this is what he's like in the real world. And he's actually kinda cute, too. I'm surprised that-_

Her reverie was interrupted by Butters' voice: "Are you okay?"

She snapped out of it. "I'm fine… just thinking."

Butters smiled, glad that she was okay. "So…what happened after they took the serum?"

Kitty sighed. "I wish I could tell you it was good… But, I can't.

"It turned out, that the serum reacted differently with their bodies, than it had with the animals that got tested on. It did give them the indefinite lifespan they had been hoping for- they had become just like any other NPC in any other video game.

"Just not in the way that they had expected."

Butters swallowed hard, and Kitty finished her thought: "Before it gave them the elongated life… It killed them first."

An ominous wind flowed between them, as Butters stood there dumbfounded, at what Kitty had just told him.

"They… died?" Butters asked. "But that means…" His mind started churning again. "They became- what are they called? The 'z' word-"

"Zombies," Kitty finished for him.

Again, Butters couldn't believe what he was hearing; zombies didn't exist, he thought.

_Then again, this technically _is_ a video game…_

Just then, a thought occurred to Butters, and he voiced it aloud: "Hey, why haven't I seen this in the game before? I just played it…"

"Two weeks ago," Kitty finished his sentence for him. "And it was during your downtime that it happened."

Seeing the look on Butters' face, she quickly added: "Don't misunderstand me, Butters; you aren't to blame for this. There's nothing you, personally, could have done to prevent this."

This cheered Butters up. Slightly.

After a moment, Butters spoke again: "So, these… zombies… Where are they now?"

"Hiding, probably. They don't' like to come out before nightfall, for some reason."

Butters looked around him; night was quickly falling. Obviously, time in the game did not exactly correspond with time in the real world.

"Um… shouldn't we be finding shelter somewhere? Or are all the shacks gone, too?"

Kitty shook her head. "Right after they turned, they went on a rampage and destroyed everything they could, including most everything on the island. If there are any shelters left, I haven't been able to find them…"

Butters was about to respond, when a crackling sound entered his ears, far away but approaching rapidly. He tried to mask his fear, but his eyes betrayed him. Kitty obviously felt the same way Butters did- she didn't mask her fear very well, the innocent thing she was- and this oddly comforted Butters.

At least his apprehension was mutual.

Both Butters and Kitty turned to see the source of the noise, and it turned out to be exactly what Kitty had warned him about.

A horde of furry critters was rapidly approaching them. Butters could tell that at some point, they had been both cute _and_ fuzzy, but now they were neither. Their fur had been matted down by the bodily fluids of the innocents they had killed, and lines of blood dripped down from their frothing, foamy mouths.

It was truly a sight to behold.

"Wh-what do we do?" Butters stammered.

"I don't know," Kitty replied, "but I always just run when this happens."

Butters whispered back, "Sounds like a plan."

Without even seeming to think about it, Butters grabbed Kitty's paw and held on tightly, as the two of them beat a path in the opposite direction, as their enemies bore down ever closer upon them.

If they thought they could somehow outrun the danger that they were facing… They were wrong.

The danger was all around them.

**Bwahahaha! No more for now, but chapter three comes soon!**


End file.
